Grief
Note: I found this in my Selva Oscura file. It was meant to be posted in mid-October. The contents explain my absence from the blog from that point to May 2006. I'm not sure why I didn't post it then, and not exactly sure why I am posting it now.
My father-in-law did go from strength to strength in the life of perfect service on December 1st. The process of his death was a profound and holy one for us all.
-Peregrinator+
The last two weeks have been difficult at the Peregrinator household as we received word that my father-in-law has been diagnosed with a rather aggressive cancer. While I have walked countless people through such family situations, this is the first time it has hit so close to home. Not only am I close to the pain my wife and children are experiencing, I have come to understand that I am very close to the old guy myself.
For two days after receiving the news I experienced what I now realize was a deep, deep sense of grief. I seemed to float through life, easily distracted, with a gnawing sense that life had been irrevocably changed. Underlying everything was an inescapable sense of sadness. Oh, I could be diverted and even joyous for the moment, but the baseline of existence was the sadness. On top of it all, I was tired. I felt a weariness in my bones.
I mention this for a few reasons. I would welcome your prayers for us, and especially for Gene, my father-in-law. But also the experience put into context my perception of my ministry and the fate of Anglicanism, this selva oscura in which I find myself. I am in grief.
I grieve the fracturing of Anglicanism. As events have unfolded in the months that have followed General Convention 2003, we have witnessed the steady dissolution of Anglicanism into several factions, none of which am I particularly comfortable with. I grieve the end of an Anglicanism which may actually have never existed.
My father-in-law did go from strength to strength in the life of perfect service on December 1st. The process of his death was a profound and holy one for us all.
-Peregrinator+
The last two weeks have been difficult at the Peregrinator household as we received word that my father-in-law has been diagnosed with a rather aggressive cancer. While I have walked countless people through such family situations, this is the first time it has hit so close to home. Not only am I close to the pain my wife and children are experiencing, I have come to understand that I am very close to the old guy myself.
For two days after receiving the news I experienced what I now realize was a deep, deep sense of grief. I seemed to float through life, easily distracted, with a gnawing sense that life had been irrevocably changed. Underlying everything was an inescapable sense of sadness. Oh, I could be diverted and even joyous for the moment, but the baseline of existence was the sadness. On top of it all, I was tired. I felt a weariness in my bones.
I mention this for a few reasons. I would welcome your prayers for us, and especially for Gene, my father-in-law. But also the experience put into context my perception of my ministry and the fate of Anglicanism, this selva oscura in which I find myself. I am in grief.
I grieve the fracturing of Anglicanism. As events have unfolded in the months that have followed General Convention 2003, we have witnessed the steady dissolution of Anglicanism into several factions, none of which am I particularly comfortable with. I grieve the end of an Anglicanism which may actually have never existed.
posted by peregrinator at 10:10 PM
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